I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
