Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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