I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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