if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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