yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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