toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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