Already got asked if we're dating
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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