He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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