Umm I'm too high to move.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
