That's intense
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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