Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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