Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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