community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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