I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This toilet bowl is my home.
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