I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
