Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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