Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
