I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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