i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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