This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
