dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize