No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Let's paint friendship bongs
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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