Do you still have your period?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize