Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize