she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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