and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
