Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Randomize
