In America we eat man semen.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
