Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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