Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
