that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
