I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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