this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
