I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
