So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
