The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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