It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Actions speak louder than pants.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
