I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
