so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
