What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The cops high fived after they tackled you
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
