is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
