So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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