Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
