So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
