You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm way too hungover for life right now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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