Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
