If i come over, it means nothing
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
