I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
They took my balls.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
