i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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