what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
