I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
