It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
