6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It was like getting head from an anaconda
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
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