the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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