have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
