I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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