I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize