4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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