We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
