Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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