Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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