Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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