Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
