Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
