look no pants
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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