I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
