dude i'm inner monologue high
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
