he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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